A Lack of Grace
by Darkhymns
Summary: If only first kisses weren't so awkward. [Lloyd/Colette]


**Incredibly self-indulgent drabble; that's my excuse.**

* * *

It was in Welgaia that he first told Colette, snapping out of Mithos' memories, gripping her tightly to know that she was here. His embrace was fierce, shaking from the thought of having been so close to losing her again. She had been shaking too. Her hands gripped the back of his jacket, wringing the fabric. How many times had it been since he feared he would never see her again? Feeling her now made his heart stutter with both happiness and relief, which must have explained his slip.

"I love you," he had said suddenly. Both of them stiffened, then stepped back, eyes shifting all over the place. Lloyd tried to fix it immediately. "I- I mean, welcome back!" His blurt came out hurried, and it was enough to make both of them laugh afterwards.

It was the intensity of the moment that had made him say it, he was sure. Their friends were trapped, and Mithos' emotions still ran strong through both their heads. She smiled it away, even as he apologized repeatedly for saying something so lame and cliché.

At the Giant Kharlan Tree, after Lloyd had given it a name, she returned his words. It was with a nervousness that echoed his own, but calmed down, comforted by both the shade of the tree and Martel's gratefulness. He had smiled at her also, complete with a blush, taking her hand.

Even after that, there was still something unspoken between them. Throughout their plans for traveling - on which path would be best to find the Exspheres, and just how they could convince Yuan to keep using the Rheiards for the journey - Lloyd wondered what else was next. There was more to this, right? Stupidly, he had asked Zelos for advice, who had rewarded his decision by telling him graphic details of activities he had only half-imagined before. Giving the other Chosen a good shove, he resolved to figure things out for himself.

It was on his terrace, the night before they would leave, that the threads of an idea formed in his mind. The blanket of stars was thick, showing hundreds of lights that had not been there before. He had wondered if he could tell which belonged to Welgaia, where Kratos was already gone to. Colette had commented on how his father would now always be there for him, and that all he had to do was look up. "Maybe we can give him his own constellation!" she had said innocently.

The earnestness in her voice made him look at her. His throat was closed off, realizing suddenly what he wanted. He gripped her shoulder.

"Hey, uh…" He had to look away at first, ashamed at how he would ever be able to say this. She was patient, weathering his stumbles, waiting for his courage to return so that he could face her again. "Just…ah, do you want…and you don't have to if-" He cleared his throat, wondering where that high pitch in his voice came from. "Do… do you wanna kiss?"

Like in Welgaia, he had caught her off guard. She was clasping her hands together, her eyes shifting down to them, then back to him.

She nodded wordlessly, then added lamely, "I… I don't know how to though…"

Unfortunately, neither had any experience. They would have to go in blind.

"That's okay," he said quickly to reassure them both. Then he gently cupped her face in his hands, eliciting a little gasp from her. She shifted slightly, lifting up her toes to be nearer to him.

If he thought about this too much, he knew he'd chicken out, so he leaned forward, closing his eyes only when they were half an inch apart. The brush of her lips was electrifying. He felt a part of her tremble, reflecting the jittery heart inside his chest. He pressed against her mouth a second time, carefully, holding in his breath so that he could easily hear how his pulse was dancing in his ears. The warmth and softness of her was beyond imagining, leaving him clueless on how much more he should go on.

After that, he had to step away, instantly turning his gaze back to the forest that stretched out before his house. Hands gripped the wooden railing, the cool air contrasting the heat in his face.

"Sorry, that wasn't… much," he said, still too embarrassed to even contemplate his existence.

He felt her step up to him, leaning against his arm. Both her hands reached out to one of his own, easing away their grip.

"I liked it," she said with a slight waver. He looked down to see that her face was red, her chest slightly heaving. He was sure there was something inappropriate in his stare, but her smile made it seem that everything was fine.

"Could we try that again later?"

He nearly told her he wanted to try it again right now, but he still felt a little shaky. Maybe later would be better.

"Definitely," he said, bringing his arms around her as innocently as he could.

* * *

They left in the early morning, both waving their farewells to Dirk, with Noise loping beside them as they carried their satchels. The dog-creature barked at the squirrels that chattered from their perches on the branches, paying no heed to Lloyd's repeated commands for him to stop. They had decided to go down a familiar route, the pathway for Colette's initial journey. Unfortunately, they would definitely have to walk for the most part.

"I wish I at least knew where Yuan was so I could get those Rheiards," Lloyd complained. He knew he shouldn't have listened to Raine and given the vehicles back. It's not like Yuan needed them for anything anyway.

"We can always fly this way if we need to," Colette suggested. On cue, her wings blinked into existence, sparkles of pink lifting into the air as she moved them slightly.

Lloyd smiled in apology. "I, uh… kinda forgot how to do that already actually." He's not entirely sure how he even summoned his own in the first place. All he could recall was floating up in the sky, and then that was it.

"Oh?" Colette looked at him in consideration, her wings disappearing as she did so. "Then I can teach you! Flying gets easier when you keep practicing."

"Ha, yeah. Then we won't need Yuan's stupid machines. Wings are cooler anyway!"

Colette giggled, moving closer to him as he walked. Unconsciously, he reached out for her hand, gripping it tightly. Even Noishe's constant barking couldn't keep him from looking away from her. Although the dip in the road did, and so he flailed a little as he lost his footing, relying on Colette to right himself up again by their interlocked fingers.

It was the way she pulled on his hand that had him press against her more then either intended to. His eyes shifted down to hers, suddenly feeling a familiar heat.

"Could we try it again now?" Colette asked rather quickly.

Lloyd's mind frantically searched for what Colette meant. But he had to settle for being left in the dark as usual. "Uh, try what?"

Before he even finished his sentence, Colette had leaned up for a kiss. Her lips were firm against his, clumsy in its execution, but with a strength he wasn't used to. He reflexively grabbed her shoulder, feeling he would fall over from the way she pressed into him. He found his balance, kissing back just as fiercely. From an outside perspective, he figured this probably looked sloppy, but she was just as warm as before. It made him open his mouth more, letting go of her hand to place it against her waist.

It wasn't long before he felt her tongue brush against his own. He made a muffled noise at the touch. He kept his grip on her still, wanting to reciprocate after deciding that it felt really nice once he got over the shock. But Colette moved back, already spilling out her apologies.

"I'm so sorry! Sorry!"

"Whoa, hold on!" He placed both hands on her shoulders, his breath shaking. "It's fine, just…what was…"

"I'm sorry! I suddenly wanted to try it. I should've asked you first."

"It's okay! Seriously!" Then he decided to be brave again and gave her another kiss in return. Quick and chaste, but he was sure that was what they both needed now. "Don't worry about it."

"Really? You're not mad?"

"Why would I be mad?" he asked, genuinely confused. "I… liked it a lot. Just maybe we should do that again when I'm not carrying so much on my back." He gestured to the heavy packs strapped to his shoulders.

Colette smiled. Her eyes brimmed with unshed tears, but she looked more happy than anything else. "Okay. I'd really like that."

The taste of her lips still lingered in his mouth, making him want to relive it once more. But before he could even move forward, Noishe decided he didn't want to be left out. The creature stepped between them suddenly, making Colette fall backwards and knocking the breath out of Lloyd as his pet practically pounced on him.

"Noishe! Get off!" The dog responded by placing his front paws on Lloyd's chest, licking all over his face. "Gah!"

Colette laughed, trying to placate Noishe enough to stop his assault once she was on her feet again. "He's so happy all the sudden, huh?"

Noishe had the dumbest grin on his face, and somehow, after seeing Colette gently grab the dog's fur tufts to pull him off, Lloyd felt that same grin on his own. Something bounced around his chest; of wonders for what other days would bring, of discoveries that seemed eventual, of what else Colette would share with him. With nervousness came that tinge of excitement, just like when he had looked at her while on his terrace, her breath quickening after their first kiss.

"Yeah," he told her, petting Noishe's head gently. "I get the feeling."


End file.
